The Beginning of ... What?

I have started a blog.

Now that the announcement is out of the way, I'll tell you how it happened.

I'd always had these lofty plans in mind about how I would write thousands of blog posts that would delight generations, have people lining up to be the first to read and comment on my newest post, and eventually become so popular that companies throw truckloads of money at me for the sheer privilege of advertising on my site. Or maybe I just wanted to be able to tell people, "I have a blog."

So, after months of writing countless amazing and profound blogs in my head, I decided that I would finally sit down at the computer and share my wittiness with the world.

Of course I couldn't be bothered with shopping around blog sites to find the perfect fit, so I promptly typed in the Internet address bar the only site that I could name off the top of my head. I created my profile, entered those silly letters into the box that's there for the sole purpose of making sure you're a human and not a robot (I'm so very glad I passed that test! What would I tell my husband if I'd have found out I'm a robot?), and then lovingly selected a template for the blog itself. How exciting! I almost peed myself with delight. I couldn't wait to share the exciting news that I HAVE A BLOG!

Imagine my disappointment when I realized that I can't really tell people I have a blog until I actually write something. So funny how easy it can be to overlook those nit-picky little details.

Before I started writing, though, I had to answer two all-important questions.

1. Why am I writing this blog?
2. What will this blog be about?

My answers were simply this:

1. I don't know.
2. Not a clue.

Upon further reflection, I realized that I am going to write this blog so I can officially claim my spot in the millennial generation (let's not split hairs ... I know I read somewhere that 1981 is on the very edge of that generation). I also wanted to write something that my children slash grandchildren would be able to look at and have clear and tangible proof that their mother slash grandmother is a verifiable nutcase. An extremely intelligent verifiable nutcase, of course.

I also decided that this blog should be about anything and everything. Maybe one day I'll talk to you about the joy of puppies and kittens; then the next, we'll have a debate on the all-important theological question of whether Adam and Eve had belly buttons. The point is that the audience will never know what's coming. A little anticipation will keep readers on the edge of their seats and leave them salivating for more.

Now I have to wonder: Will I have any readers? I suppose that's up to you, dear friends. If my blog ends up languishing in the empty and lonely wastes of cyberspace, I can probably just tell my grandkids that I meant it to be a private journal all along.

Now that I HAVE A BLOG, I hope you'll read it. If you find spelling, punctuation, and/or grammar errors that make you want to leave in disgust, please remember that I am a creative genius, and creative geniuses can't be bothered with those kinds of things. In all seriousness, I do hope this blog will actually make some small contribution to my circle of friends or society at large rather than becoming a vapid list of all the super and amazing things I did during the week (Facebook statuses FTW!).

It's about time to end this way-too-long piece of silliness. But before I go, I have one small request: If you read any of my humble posts, will you comment so I know you're out there? I'm sure you want me to have something awesome to show my grandchildren.